Amadeus Records First Demo "From Inside"

In the early months of 2008, after my heavy metal work in Malachi I wanted to slow the tempo down a bit, focus more on lyrics and melody, to allow the words in the music time to breathe. I went on to cofound a new band with my good friends Rob Shenberger (vocals) and Mike Zellner (bass). Both Rob and Mike were later members of Malachi, and when I came to them with the idea both immediately said yes. We named the new group Amadeus. Amadeus is derived from the Latin words ama – the imperative of the word amare (to love) – and deus (god). As a linguistic compound in the form of a phereoikos, it means "Love god!" All three of us were Christians and wanted the new material to have an uplifting, spiritual tone.

While I was completely aware of the connection with Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, it wasn't mentioned to me until later that most people thought of "Rock Me Amadeus" by Falco. By then it was too late as I had already committed to the name, though in retrospect I wish I had opened the floor for the rest of the group at the time to come up with alternatives. Such is the arrogance of youth, revealed by the benefit of hindsight. For better or for worse we had our name.

Now in order to fully understand the story of Amadeus, I have to explain my friendship with Rob and his mentorship during this time. I met Rob as DJ Rob Rock, one of my brother's friends in the local rock scene. I was only 16 at the time, but right away Rob took a liking to me. I wasn't very good, though I practiced six hours a day, and I showed glimpses of a writer's mind and an ear for hard rock licks. It was Rob who helped me to understand the difference between a cool riff and good song. He helped me to slow down, to think about what I wanted to say, and how I wanted my audience to feel. It wasn't long before Rob became one of my biggest believers, and I became one of his. I knew I would need his help to take this right turn.

Mike Zellner is one of the best men I've ever known. He's also one of the funniest guys you'll ever meet. He's honest, loyal, dependable, and loves his family dearly. It didn't hurt that Mike had a great knack for writing out-of-the-box bass parts that would spin my mind into new directions and give me new perspectives on the songs we were writing. Mike's dad was a guitar guy, teaching him to play and fostering his love for music. Like Mike, his dad is just a great guy. He's kind of a mix between The Wizard of Oz and the Wizard of Menlo Park. I once accompanied Mike to his dad's house, where I was fortunate enough to see his warehouse. This guy had a huge warehouse that was a tinkerer's dream. It was like the animated Batman's bat cave in there, giant penny and all. All kinds of cool machines and guitar bodies. It immediately confirmed to me why Mike was the cool guy that he was; he was his father's son. I knew I wanted him playing bass for me on this project.

After meeting in Rob's basement for a few weeks working with the new material, we knew it was time to find our drummer. After Cajun's return home to California, it was a role I had been putting off filling. I felt like James Hetfield trying to replace Cliff Burton, so to speak. But I missed playing music, and I knew it was time to try new things. Rob had mentioned he knew someone that would be up to the task and might even be available, DJ _____ aka Juden. Rob asked him to come out and jam, a few days later we worked out what would be the groundwork for our first demo.

Juden was a really smart guy, well-read and very informed about the music scene in Ohio. As far as musical tastes, we were oil and water. He was into the really theatrical stuff, goth metal, facepaint, props, stage names, etc. I made the mistake of speaking too early that night, making fun of that sort of thing, to which he replied, "Well, I like it." Off to a shaky start. It didn't help that I just didn't feel the same musical connection with DJ as I did with Cage. And, to be honest, I still hadn't come to terms with Malachi being broken up.

It had nothing to do with Juden's musicianship or ability. He brought a ton of great ideas to the table that on paper didn't appeal to me, but upon being forced to hear them in context with my own ideas I would be grudgingly accepted them into the songs. Looking back these are some of my favorite Amadeus moments, but it would be years before I would learn to encourage collaboration and practice open-mindedness. And, I hate to admit it, but over time I started to take my frustrations out on him.

We had a few screaming matches over the phone, silly disagreements I started because I thought he was trying to take over my ideas. Looking back I can see just how ridiculous I was being. DJ only wanted us to succeed. Despite our differences we were able to record a demo of our song "From Inside" with Wes McCraw at Creekside Audio in Norton, Ohio. Wes was a friend of Larry's as well as Juden's, whom Wes had worked with previously. On an early May morning, we packed up the band van and headed to Norton.

It was during this studio trip that I really got the production bug. Wes McCraw is the man. He really is a super producer. The guy can record just about anything, and he does it from the finished basement of his own home. I was so impressed. This was like no regular basement, it was more like the man had built his home on top of his professional studio, rather than having his studio in his home. I was like a kid in a candy store. I can only imagine how I drove the man crazy with my questions. But if I did, Wes never showed it. The man was as professional as professional could be. He patiently (and dutifully) answered all of my questions and was gracious enough to work with me. By that, I don't mean he recorded me, which was what we were paying him to do, I mean that he took the extra time to help me develop. He challenged me, asked me why I was choosing the notes and techniques I was using, offering alternatives in an effort to mature my performance.

What we brought home was a damned good demo, if I do say so myself. Now that it is 11 years old, I can easily hear its imperfections. Some of my strings are out of tune in places. I hadn't really found my new guitar tone just yet. Some timing issues here and there. But on a second listen I hear even more promise, more potential. I hear our love for the song, the honesty of Rob's lyrics, the hours of practice and fellowship, but most importantly, I can hear the fun I had when I allowed myself to have it.

It is when that the mp3 fades and the progress bar meets its end that I realize I am sad those days are over. I regret a lot of the decisions I made, things I said, things I didn't say. But eventually I smile, because I don't regret the friendships I made and strengthened. Though those days are indeed over, I'm glad they happened at all.

We continued to work on more material for an album we were going to call "Hard Days Follow". Ironically enough, hard days were indeed on the horizon, and this iteration would disband shortly thereafter. To be honest, I don't really remember what happened at the end, though something tells me that tensions between me and Juden had to have contributed. I do know that at the time I was not yet mature enough to lead a band, and much too insecure to know when to follow. DJ would leave the band, and eventually the drum throne would be recasted with our friend Brad Baumberger in the role. A few new songs and a name change later things started to look up, but the group would disband yet again before I would move on.

Rob and I are still very good friends, though we don't talk as much as he deserves, something I need to work on. Just a few months back he met me for lunch at Jake's Steakhouse where we enjoyed great food and waxed lyrical about the good old days. I very much want to work with him again on something. His friendship and role as a mentor